


You're Allowed

by xXAnaloceitXx



Series: Stoner Patton [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Drug Use, Panic Attack, Smoking, Weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXAnaloceitXx/pseuds/xXAnaloceitXx
Series: Stoner Patton [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702450
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	You're Allowed

It had been a few months since everyone found out about him smoking. They had said that they were ok with it and that he could do it in the mind palace or at Thomas’ place, but he still felt like they might be lying to him. He trusted them, but it was also the fact that he was supposed to be the dad of all of them. He was supposed to take care of them. He sat on the couch with a sigh and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. 

He sat there like that for a bit, but opened his eyes when he heard someone coming down the stairs. Their footsteps faster than normal and it made him worry. He saw Virgil coming down the stairs, panic clear in his eyes. Patton reached out a hand, but didn’t touch him. When Virgil nodded Patton wrapped him up in his arms. Virgil was hyperventilating, tears running down his face. 

“Kiddo, think of five things you can see”

He saw Virgil look around the room and then look back to him.

“Good, four things you can feel”

He reached for his jacket sleeves, then his pants, then his hair, and then the cat hoodie wrapped around Patton’s shoulders. 

“Good job, three things you can hear” 

His breathing was already slower than what it was.

“You, heart, Princey”

Patton listened and could also hear Roman singing something in his room. 

“You’re doing great, two things you can smell”

“The grilled cheese sandwiches from lunch, you” he said and blushed. 

Patton gave him a smile. 

“Great, and one thing you can taste”

He licked his lips, his breathing back to normal. Patton saw him pull a face. 

“Blood because I apparently bit my lip too hard”

Patton looked at it and saw that he had indeed bit it until it bled. There wasn’t much that could be done for that other than leave it alone and let it heal. Patton nodded and gave him a proper hug. Virgil hugged back and gave Patton a small smile. 

“Thanks, Pat”

“Any time, kiddo”

Patton sat on the couch and Virgil sat with him. Virgil leaned his head against his shoulder and Patton ran his hand through his hair. He smiled when Virgil closed his eyes. Once his breathing evened out and Patton knew he was asleep. Roman came down the stairs and smiled at them, Patton putting a finger to his lips when Roman opened his mouth to say something. Roman nodded and headed into the kitchen. Patton let his head fall back and closed his eyes. He let out a sigh just as Logan came down the stairs. 

“Patton?” Logan said softly. 

Patton opened his eyes and looked at Logan. 

“Are you alright?”

Patton nodded and closed his eyes again. He grabbed his phones and headphones, plugging the headphones in. He put them on and put on the playlist Thomas had made for him. After a few minutes he felt Virgil stir and looked down. Virgil opened his eyes and stretched, looking up at Patton. Patton gave him a smile and got one in return. 

_Patton? Virgil? Roman? Logan?_

They all sank out and popped up in Thomas’ living room. 

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“How may we be of service?”

“Who do I need to slay?”

Virgil let out a grunt. 

Thomas looked at all of them and gave them a smile. 

“Nothing’s wrong, per say, I’m just feeling… off?”

They all gave him confused looks. They were all fine, or well Patton was a little stressed but that was normal. Virgil had a panic attack but that was an hour ago. Roman had been preparing for an upcoming show and Logan was doing his thing. They were all doing normal things so there was nothing too strong that should affect Thomas.

“I was just filling out our planner, nothing out of the ordinary”

“I was practicing lines”

“I was asleep after a panic attack. Sorry about that, by the way”

Thomas gave him a small smile. 

“You never have to apologize for a panic attack”

Virgil nodded. They all turned to Patton. What had he been doing?

“I was just relaxing and listening to music”

Thomas turned to him and gave him a confused look. That’s when Patton looked at his phone and saw the time. Normally he would be making dinner for everyone by now. He realized how stressed he really was at that moment. He didn’t feel like doing any of the normal things he did. He knew he needed to be there for everyone because with the upcoming show, everyone was stressed. They had been coming to him like they knew they could, but who did Patton have to go to?

He took a breath, held it for seven seconds and let it out for eight. He was fine, he could handle this. He always had and always will. He gave Thomas a smile, but let it drop when Thomas gave him a look. 

“So maybe I’m a little stressed, but it’s fine”

Patton put the smile back on his face. Thomas continued to give him a look. Patton let the smile fall again and slumped his shoulders. 

“Ok so maybe it’s more than just a ‘little’ stressed, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I promise”

Thomas let out a sigh. 

“Patton, we’ve talked about this”

Patton nodded and looked to the floor. 

“I know, but I promise you if I need help I’ll ask. I’m fine”

“Falsehood”

Patton jumped at Logan’s voice. He looked at Logan and saw that Logan was giving him a concerned look. Patton sighed and sat on the floor, his head in his hands. He needed to breathe for a second and he would be fine. He took a breath, held it for seven seconds, and then let it out for eight. He was fine, he could handle this, he always had and always would. He then noticed that Virgil had sat down next to him. He saw the concerned look on his face. 

“Patton, that’s the second time you’ve done the breathing exercise in like five minutes. Please talk to us?”

Patton shook his head. He then noticed that everyone had sat down with him, forming a circle around him while still giving him space. He smiled and let out a small chuckle. 

“I promise I’m fine”

“If you keep lying you know what’s gonna happen. Let’s try and keep him from showing up, please?” Virgil said. 

Patton nodded and let out a sigh. 

“Ok, ok. So maybe I’m super stressed, maybe I haven’t had time to relax because I want to make sure all of you are ok, maybe…”

He cut himself off and looked to the floor. He didn’t want to admit that he was still embarrassed about them knowing. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see that it was Thomas’. 

“You can tell us anything, Pat”

“Maybe I’m still embarrassed that you all know how I relax” he looked to the floor again. 

“Patton, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about” Roman said as he also placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Patton, you need time to relax, no matter how you do it. Just like we all need time to relax”

Patton nodded. He knew they were right but that didn’t stop him from being embarrassed. He let his head fall into his hands again and let out a sigh. 

“Patton”

Patton looked at Thomas. 

“You’re allowed to be stressed. You’re allowed to need time to yourself. You’re allowed to relax”

Patton let a small smile grace his face. Thomas was right. 

“Thanks, kiddo”

Thomas gave him a smile and held a hand out. Patton took it and let Thomas help him up. Thomas led him over to the couch and connected his phone to his speaker. He put the playlist he made for Patton on and Patton gave him a smile. 

“Are you sure this is alright? Haven’t your friends questioned the smell?”

“I mean Joan did but I came up with an excuse. If you want them to know it’ll be on your terms, when you’re ready for them to know” 

Patton’s smile grew and he hugged Thomas. 

“I’ll be right back”

He sunk out, popping up in his room. He grabbed everything he needed before sinking out and popping up in Thomas’ living room again. He sat back down on the couch next to Thomas. Roman sat in the floor, Logan sat on the other side of Thomas, and Virgil sat on the back of the couch. Patton loaded the bowl and lit it, taking a hit. He let the smoke sit for a minute before exhaling and finally relaxing. 

He looked around and saw nothing but love and acceptance in the others’ eyes. He gave them all a smile and got smiles in return. He took another hit, holding it for a minute. He then let it out and sat back against the couch. He smiled as he listened to the music and hung out with his famILY.


End file.
